Learning how to teach empathy to children is very important today. Kids need to understand others and show kindness. But many parents feel unsure about where to start. You might have heard, “Before you judge or criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes.” This saying highlights the idea of empathy. Empathy means understanding how others feel and imagining what it would be like to be in their place (or to walk in their shoes).
Empathy plays an essential role in building strong friendships and healthy relationships. It helps lower conflicts, clears up misunderstandings, and encourages kindness, helpful behaviour, and overall success in different areas of life.
Like any other skill, empathy can be taught and strengthened in children. Since children’s thinking skills and experiences grow as they get older, the best ways to teach empathy often depend on their stage of development.
First, know that empathy is a skill. So, children can learn it with practice. When kids see others’ feelings, they grow emotionally. Then, they build strong friendships and handle conflicts better. We will explore some important techniques for helping children learn empathy, along with specific ideas and activities that suit different age groups.
This guide will show you how to teach empathy to children using proven tips. These simple steps work for all ages. You will see your child grow into a kind and caring person. So, let’s explore the best ways to teach empathy. With patience and love, you can raise a child who cares for others.
Looking at Empathy For Our Children
Linda Slade, a writer for the Inspiring Girls blog, recently received a heartfelt message from the mother of a young girl living with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Her daughter, Mia, struggles with this condition and this has made her a target of relentless bullying from classmates.
Although 13-year-old Mia is bright, humorous, and friendly, she remains on the outside. She is deeply lonely. Her classmates focus solely on what makes her different, never giving her a real chance to be herself. As a result, Mia is unable to relax and let her true personality shine. Her peers miss out on seeing the wonderful person she is.
As parents, we all hope our own children would respond better in a similar situation—choosing to show kindness and understanding. But would they? Sometimes, a child’s natural empathy can be drowned out by other influences, such as the desire to fit in with friends or the need to assert control over a social situation.
So, how can we ensure that empathy rises above these pressures? We must take the lead… We need to model empathy in our own actions and deliberately teach it to our children.
But what does that actually look like? How can we put this into practice? How to teach empathy to children?
Important Steps on How to Teach Empathy to Children
1. Understanding Empathy
Empathy means being able to understand and share how someone else is feeling. It is a skill that helps people connect with others and build stronger relationships.
There are two main types of empathy:
- Affective empathy is the natural kind we are all born with. This is when we automatically react to someone else’s feelings. When we see someone crying, we might feel sad too. If someone laughs, we often laugh with them. People have affective empathy in different amounts, but everyone has it in some form.
- Cognitive empathy is when we choose to understand someone else’s feelings and try to see the world from their point of view. This type of empathy is something we can practice and teach children to improve.
On how to teach empathy to children, helps them think about themselves. They might begin asking, “Am I kind to others?” or “How can I understand people better?”
2. Listening Is Better Than Imagining
Going about how to teach empathy to children, we often ask them to picture how someone else is feeling. We might say, “How would you feel if that happened to you?” This is called mentalizing, and it is a good first step. But imagining someone’s feelings is not the same as truly knowing them.
Everyone has different life experiences, so we cannot fully understand how someone feels just by guessing. Sometimes, we accidentally think others feel the same as we do, even when they don’t. This can lead to misunderstandings.
The best way on how to teach empathy to children is to encourage them to listen instead of only imagining. Listening helps them understand others better. Children should be taught to listen carefully, without interrupting, and to accept that others may see things differently. Just because someone’s experience is different doesn’t mean it is wrong.
Talking to different kinds of people is the best way to listen and learn. But when that is not possible, expose kids to books, movies, interviews, podcasts, music, and art that show the lives and thoughts of people from different backgrounds. These can help children hear voices they might not otherwise meet in their daily lives.
3. Challenging Stereotypes
Stereotypes are unfair and simple ideas about certain groups of people. They often lead to wrong and hurtful assumptions. To raise empathetic children, we need to teach them to question these ideas.
Start by pointing out stereotypes when they see them, and explain why they are not true. Talk about how these unfair ideas harm people.
Gender and race stereotypes are common, so these are good places to begin. Show children examples of people from these groups who have done great things. At the same time, remind kids that everyone shares some common experiences.
Learning about both our differences and our similarities can help children appreciate others. There is beauty in what makes us unique, but also comfort in the ways we are alike. Seeing both sides is what helps build true empathy.
4. Stop Removing Every Obstacle to Give Your Child a Perfect Life
Many children today have not faced any major difficulties, so they often fail to recognize that others do. As a result, they struggle to show empathy toward those facing hard times. This is usually not because they are unkind, but rather an unintended result of how we raise them.
Parents need to step aside and allow their children to confront challenges on their own. It’s important to let them experience setbacks, disagreements, and moments of failure. While offering guidance from the background, let them live a life that is not flawless, as this will teach them to better understand others’ struggles.
Clinical psychologist Kristina Morgan from Lourdes Hill College explains, “It’s actually beneficial for children to face difficulties while they are still young because, at this stage, these problems are usually:
a. Less serious,
b. Supported by caring adults, and
c. Opportunities to develop important life skills.”
She further advises, “Don’t clear every hurdle for your child. If you do, they will struggle to grasp that others face real hardships.”
5. Fairness Isn’t Always About Equality
Any parent who has served drinks to a group of children knows that, to them, fairness means getting exactly the same amount. Even the slightest difference can cause complaints. However, in the real world, fairness and equality are not always the same, and it’s crucial to teach children this distinction.
There are countless examples showing that some people begin life with a head start while others face disadvantages from the start. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely had a fair share of good fortune.
You are educated, have access to the internet, and have the privilege of time to read about raising empathetic children. This doesn’t mean your life has been free of hardships, but it does mean you and your family have certain advantages.
While you might be aware of your privilege, your children likely aren’t. It’s vital to teach them that some people need extra support to overcome barriers. Being born with advantages doesn’t make someone superior—it simply means they were lucky. Encourage your children to be grateful for what they have and to avoid growing up with a sense of entitlement.
6. Bad Things Can Happen to Anyone
Teenagers need to understand that the problems affecting society—such as mental health struggles, domestic violence, and homelessness—are not limited to certain groups of people. These challenges can impact anyone, regardless of their background.
Kristina Morgan emphasizes, “To protect their kids, parents often pretend these issues don’t exist, creating a picture-perfect world. However, this approach can leave children unprepared, lacking empathy, and feeling overly secure in their own privilege.
We must teach them that bad situations can arise in any life. Being born into favourable circumstances doesn’t make you exempt from life’s difficulties, nor does it make you better than others.”
By having open conversations about real-world issues, parents can help their children develop a greater understanding of the struggles others face and encourage them to approach life with empathy and humility.
7. Notice People Who Are Different… and Greet Them with a Smile!
Linda Slade had the chance to speak with actress Julia Hales. Julia is a trailblazer within the Down Syndrome community. When they had their conversation, she had just launched her stage production called You Know We Belong Together, which later graced the stage of the Sydney Opera House.
During their talk, Julia shared that the toughest part of living with Down Syndrome is dealing with how others treat her. She explained that when she is out in public, people often glance her way, notice she is different, and then quickly turn their heads. This reaction leaves her feeling invisible—and that feeling stings deeply.
This is why we need to notice people who seem different from us and teach our children to do the same. Instead of telling a child, “Don’t stare,” try encouraging them to say, “Hello.” Being overlooked time and time again leaves emotional scars. That kind of hurt piles up over the years, and healing from it can be extremely hard.
4 Simple Ways on How to Teach Empathy to Children of Any Age
1. Show Empathy Yourself
Whenever you want a child to learn a new skill, the best place to start is by showing them how it’s done. Children pick up a lot by watching adults, so when you practice empathy, they get to see what it looks like in action. This helps them understand how empathy sounds, feels, and works in real-life situations. It’s much easier to know how to teach empathy to children when you already show empathy yourself.
It’s also important to stay empathetic even when you’re upset with your child or need to correct their behaviour. Showing kindness, even during difficult moments, teaches your child that empathy is valuable in every situation—even when people feel disappointed, frustrated, or angry. The more often children experience empathy, the more naturally they will offer it to others.
2. Talk About Feelings
Instead of brushing off emotions, make it normal to talk about them. If your child is scared of the dark, instead of saying, “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” ask questions like, “Are you feeling scared? What is it about the dark that worries you?”
When your child dislikes someone, avoid immediately saying, “That’s not nice.” Instead, ask, “Why don’t you like them?” This can lead to a conversation about the other child’s behaviour and possible feelings. For example, maybe the child is mean because they recently moved and miss their old friends.
Make sure your child knows that all feelings—like sadness or anger—are okay. Instead of punishing them for being upset, guide them to understand and handle their emotions healthily by talking things through.
3. Find Ways to Help Others
Helping others is a great way to build empathy. It encourages children to be kind and gives them the chance to meet people from different backgrounds, ages, and situations. This helps children better understand that everyone has their own experiences and feelings.
Look for simple ways to help—whether at home, in the neighbourhood, or even supporting causes worldwide. Choose an activity together and get involved. These experiences can help children see the world from other people’s points of view.
4. Recognize and Praise Kindness
When your child does something kind or shows care for someone else, let them know you noticed. Complimenting their actions encourages them to keep showing empathy in the future.
Make your praise clear and detailed. Instead of saying, “Good job,” say, “You gave your sister a Band-Aid when she scraped her knee so she would feel better. That was really thoughtful and kind!” Being specific helps your child understand exactly what they did well and why it mattered.
Age-Specific Approaches for Teaching Empathy
Here are some simple and age-appropriate methods for helping children develop empathy. These age groups are just a rough guide, so feel free to try any idea that suits your child best. Some activities first introduced to younger children can also stay useful as they grow older.
How to Teach Empathy to Children of Ages 3-5
Name and Explain Feelings.
Support young children in understanding their emotions and recognizing how others feel by talking about and naming feelings. For example, you might say, “You look upset,” or ask, “Are you feeling disappointed?”
It can also help to teach children how their body shows emotions, as this can be easier for them to notice at this age.
For instance, you could say, “Your face is scrunched up. Your arms are crossed. You look frustrated.” When kids start to understand their emotions better, they also become more likely to notice and care about how others feel.
Read Books Together.
When reading with your child, talk about the characters’ emotions. Ask questions like:
- How do you think the character feels?
- Why do you think they feel that way?
- What would you do if you were in their place?
Books are a wonderful tool for building empathy. For example:
- Listening with My Heart by Gabi Garcia shares the journey of a girl named Esperanza, who learns to be kind to others and herself. You can ask your child:
- How did Esperanza feel when she made a mistake?
- How would you comfort her if you were there?
- How can you be kind to yourself when you make a mistake?
- Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes is a story about a girl teased for her name. You can talk about how she feels when others are unkind and what your child can do if they see someone being teased.
- The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywalt tells the story of crayons with different complaints. Beige feels ignored, Black is tired of drawing outlines, and Orange and Yellow argue about the sun. This story is a fun way to teach kids that everyone has different feelings and needs.
These types of questions can be asked with any book your child enjoys. It encourages them to think about other people’s feelings.
Create a “We Care Box.”
Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline, suggests making a small care box that teaches children to show concern for others.
This can be a simple box with items like tissues, bandages, and a small toy. Children can use it when they notice someone is upset or unwell.
For example, if your child sees you sneezing, they might bring you a tissue. This helps them learn that kind actions can help others feel better. You can also set an example by saying, “Our friend is sick; let’s make some soup to cheer them up,” or, “Your sister fell. Let’s bring her a bandage to help.”
Guide Social Skills in Real Life.
When your child takes a toy from a sibling, ask gentle questions like:
- “How do you think your brother feels right now?”
- “How would you feel if someone took your toy?”
- “Look at his face—does he look happy or sad?”
This helps your child understand how their actions affect others. You can also teach better ways to handle the situation, such as:
- Asking, “Can I have a turn?”
- Offering to swap toys.
- Finding another toy while waiting for their turn.
It’s easier for kids to learn these skills when they see how they work in their daily lives. Teaching in the moment helps children practice empathy and build better social habits.
How to Teach Empathy to Children of 5-7 Years
Play Feelings Charades.
Helping children understand emotions through playful activities is a great way to nurture empathy. Fun games can teach kids how to name and understand different feelings, giving them the words they need to talk about emotions.
One enjoyable activity is feelings charades. Take turns pretending to feel different emotions while others guess what you are acting out. Once the correct feeling is guessed, take a moment to talk about it by asking questions like:
- When do you feel happy?
- What makes you feel better when you’re upset?
- How can we support a friend who is feeling sad?
Lisette from the Where Imagination Grows blog shares a creative twist on this game. She uses the characters from the movie Inside Out to represent various emotions.
She prints out pictures of these characters and pastes each one onto an index card. A child picks a card from a container and acts out that emotion. The other children then hold up a small Inside Out figurine to match the emotion being acted out.
Use Pictures.
Pictures can also help teach children about emotions. If your child struggles with identifying or talking about feelings, you can cut out images from magazines or find pictures online showing different facial expressions like happiness, anger, or sadness. Later, you can introduce more challenging feelings like nervousness, embarrassment, disappointment, or frustration.
While looking at the images together, ask your child questions about what each person might be feeling. You can also connect it to their personal experiences by asking if they’ve ever felt the same way. Share your own stories as well. Letting children know that adults experience big emotions too can help them feel normal when they face tough feelings.
Celebrate Differences.
Learning to accept and appreciate people from all walks of life is a key part of developing empathy. Encourage your child to play with kids from different cultures, races, abilities, and genders.
Reading books or watching shows about children who have different experiences can also broaden their understanding. Talk about how, despite their differences, all children have things in common—like wanting friends, having fun, or feeling loved.
Notice Body Language.
Helping your child recognize nonverbal cues is another way to build empathy. You can play a simple observation game at a park or any place with other people.
Together, watch how people move and talk. Guess what emotions they might be feeling. For example: “That girl’s head is down, and her shoulders are slumped. I think she might be feeling sad. What do you think happened?”
This activity teaches children that body language can give clues about someone’s feelings, helping them grow more aware and sensitive toward others.
Set Healthy Boundaries.
As children grow, on the aspect of knowing how to teach empathy to children, it’s equally important to teach them that showing empathy doesn’t mean they must always meet everyone’s needs. They need to know it’s okay to say “no” and to protect their own comfort and well-being.
Guide your child in setting boundaries by following these three steps:
- Practice what to say in uncomfortable situations. If another child gives an unwanted hug, your child can say, “I don’t like that. Please stop.” If someone calls your child a name, they can respond, “My name is ________. Please use that.”
- Make a list of times when it’s right to seek adult help. Examples include someone ignoring their “no,” feeling unsafe, or when something feels wrong. Also, explain that being kind doesn’t mean breaking rules or doing anything that feels uncomfortable.
- Honour your child’s limits. If they don’t like being tickled or lifted, respect their choice. Say, “I understand. I won’t do that again.” This shows them that others should also listen and respect their boundaries when they say “no.”
Effectively knowing how to teach empathy to children and knowing their personal boundaries will help them form healthy relationships while protecting their emotional well-being.
How to Teach Empathy to Children of 7-9 Years
Have Meaningful Talks About Book Characters.
Reading more complex books and discussing what the characters think, feel, want, and believe can help children develop empathy and understand others better. Asking how we know what characters feel encourages children to think deeply about emotions and actions.
For instance, consider the book The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig. It tells the story of Brian, a boy who feels unseen because he’s not invited to parties or included in games. When a new student, Justin, joins the class, Brian is the first to welcome him. Through their teamwork on a project, Brian begins to feel noticed. This book shows how small acts of kindness can make others feel valued and included.
After reading, you can ask:
- Why did Brian feel like he was invisible?
- How do you think feeling invisible affected Brian’s emotions?
- What did Brian do to help Justin feel accepted?
- How did Justin help Brian feel seen and valued?
- Have you ever felt left out? What could have made you feel more welcomed?
One study involving 110 seven-year-olds found that children who had conversations about emotions in stories showed a better understanding of feelings, empathy, and theory of mind after two months. These improvements lasted for six months.
You can choose books that focus on empathy or discuss the books your child is already reading. Talk about the character’s emotions, and ask your child what they would think, feel, or do in similar situations.
Practice Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditations.
Research shows that doing kindness and compassion meditations for just two weeks can cause positive changes in brain chemistry. These changes lead to more caring behaviours, stronger emotional connections with others, and even better health.
Loving-kindness meditation encourages sending positive wishes to loved ones and, later, to others, including neutral people. The traditional phrases often include:
- “May you feel safe.”
- “May you feel happy.”
- “May you feel healthy.”
- “May you live with ease.”
The exact words don’t matter; the goal is to build feelings of warmth and kindness.
Compassion meditation is slightly different. Children picture times when they felt sad and then practice comforting themselves with kindness. Afterwards, they imagine doing the same for others, starting with someone they love, then a person they find difficult, and finally, for everyone around the world.
Play Cooperative Board Games or Build Together
Studies suggest that positive teamwork experiences encourage children to work well with others in the future. Cooperative games teach kids to consider different opinions, strengthen relationships, and develop social skills.
Here are a few ideas:
- Build a Lego project together with a goal in mind.
- Race to the Treasure! – A game where players work together to create a path and beat the ogre to the treasure.
- Outfoxed! – A cooperative mystery game.
- Stone Soup – A matching game that promotes teamwork.
- The Secret Door – A board game where players solve a mystery together.
These activities help children learn to cooperate, share ideas, and consider others’ feelings while working toward a common goal.
How to Teach Empathy to Children of 9-11 Years
Try Acting or Theater Classes
If your child enjoys performing, acting classes can be an excellent way to build empathy. Acting requires stepping into someone else’s shoes, much like pretend play helps younger children develop emotional understanding.
Create Empathy Maps
Empathy maps are divided into four parts: Feel, Think, Say, and Do. Choose an emotion like “worry,” and work with your child to fill in each section:
- Feel: Nervous, uneasy
- Think: “I’m making mistakes,” “Something bad is coming.”
- Say: “I’m sorry,” “I can’t do this.”
- Do: Freeze, avoid tasks
- Helpful Response: Take deep breaths, and say positive thoughts like “I’ll be okay.”
These maps help children understand that people’s actions may not always reflect their true feelings. You can use this as a starting point to talk about showing empathy and being understanding when others act differently than expected.
Something to Remember…
Going about knowing how to teach empathy to children can feel challenging. It asks us to pause and reflect on our own thoughts, actions, and biases. This can sometimes be uncomfortable. Yet, it is one of the greatest lessons we can offer—both to our children and to ourselves.
When someone cannot recognize the goodness in others, their world becomes small and lonely. But when we teach empathy, we open our hearts, and we help our children live lives filled with light, connection, and understanding.
Knowing how to teach empathy to children takes time and patience. But the rewards are truly worth it. When kids learn empathy, they become kinder. They understand others better and handle tough situations with care.
Start with small actions every day. Talk about feelings. Show kindness at home. Encourage your child to help others. Over time, these simple steps will shape their heart and mind.
We hope this guide on how to teach empathy to children helps you get started. Remember, every kind word matters. So, keep going and watch your child grow into a caring person. Share these tips with others and let’s build a kinder world together!